Saturday, November 17, 2007

I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end

One day late...

In memory, 1stLT D. Ryan Mcglothlin, KIA November 16, 2005.


It's been two years since Ryan's death, and his memory still hangs over me. We have just received our billet list of flight surgeon spots, and it is likely that I will be forward deploying with the Marines... "going greenside," if you will. Although I've shared these with everyone numerous times, this is a repeat of yet another list of things Ryan said to me during our short but colorful friendship:

[To Ryan Carra] "Ryan, you may feel ok now, but in the morning, you're going to feel like you've been eaten by a billy goat and shit off a cliff."

[about a nuclear mechanics exam] "It was harder than a three-legged cat trying to bury a turd in the snow."

[about the lack of a/c in our PChem class] "It's hotter than two rats fucking in a woolsock in here." -OR- "It's hotter than a whore in church."

[about why he brought a handle of crappy whiskey to a college party] "Sometimes there isn't anything that I want to drink, so I bring my own."

[on the romantic horizon at Stanford] "I'm peelin' 'em off like leather pants."

For those of you that don't remember the details, or would like to refresh your memory: go here. Incidentally, the statements about being mentioned in Bush's speech are true.

Finally, if there is anything I learned from Ryan, it is that he went to great lengths to see his friends regularly. Before deploying, he went around the country spending time with his friends everywhere, and no one I spoke to at the funeral had gone long since seeing him. In his memory, I would urge you to call at least one person that you have not spoken to in over a year and catch up. If need be, bring a duffle bag filled with cans of beer and a plate filled with bacon and watch some college football together. Make sure, though... don't forget to get angry about the BCS.

Sunday, October 14, 2007

I'm ready to let go of the steering wheel...

...I'm ready for the push.

Fans, I'm one more flight away from completing my initial helicopter training. It's been a terrifying ride so far, but I'm having a great time scaring the crap out of instructors and ground crew alike. So let's catch up a bit...

As mentioned in my previous post, I did complete the two week survival course (except the simulated parasailing, which I had to get waivered given that I had sprained my knee). I unfortunately was unable to take video of myself participating in these events, either because we were not allowed to (confidentiality) or because we were in the water and I didn't want to ruin my camera.

Fortunately, my predecessors have shot some wonderful video...

The SWET chair is a simulated pilot seat on an axle above the water. With helmet, flight suit, vest, and flight boots on, the student pilot is strapped into the pilot seat, and then dunked into the water (the linked video is excellent). Two rides are required; the second ride is blindfolded. After being dunked, the student has to drag him/herself approximately twelve feet and go through a door before resurfacing. It's scary. Take as big a breath as you want, the water flows into your sinuses and your heart rate quickens. Each time was the longest ten seconds of my life.

The helodunker is a metal cylinder suspended about 15 feet above the water that can seat six student pilots. Student pilots are equipped with helmet, boots, and flight suits, seated in the dunker, and strapped in. The dunker drops in the water, turns over, and rocks back and forth. After the dunker stops moving is when the dunker occupants are allowed to unlatch their seatbelts and escape from dunker. The dunker has three windows from which you can exit (the video shows a large exit on the back of the cylinder; you are not allowed to leave via that exit). Each seat in the dunker has an assigned window through which you can leave. Finally... three rides are required, and the student is blindfolded for the third ride. It's frightening to watch, but really, I was only underwater for five to six seconds (although during my blindfolded ride, I was submerged for 12 seconds before I escaped). Just like the SWET chair, water was in my sinuses, and I was very disoriented while underwater and upside down. Also, I think I kicked one of my fellow students in the head (helmet) on our way out of the second ride. I apologize for not having video of my dunker exploits; my classmates enjoy describing the looks of horror on my face as the dunker impacted the water.

But enough about underwater scares; these survival classes were just a stepping stone to the real fun: flying! I'm two weeks into basic helicopter training. The purpose of my training is to get flights in an TH-57 to familiarize myself with the particular stresses involved with flying. Flight surgeons get three daytime flights, one nighttime flight, and one tactical flight.

The daytime flights are primarily designed to get have us get some experience flying the helicopter. Depending on the instructor, we get to learn how to hover in the helicopter, take off, land, fly at altitude, and autorotations. Autorotations are simulated engine failures; imagine a helicopter that no longer has power turning the rotors. Said helicopter usually falls to the ground like a brick. Learning to cope with an engine failure is one of the first things that the helicopter pilot learns how to do.

The tactical flight is essentially a scavenger hunt. With a prepared map of landmarks, my responsibility was to navigate while my instructor flew. I gave him a heading and a distance to fly with landmarks to keep an eye out for before we hit each checkpoint. Real students (not the flight surgeons) also have to keep an eye on wind and speed, because they are evaluated on finishing the course in a certain window of time. Therefore, they are also responsible for giving their instructor directions on when to speed up and slow down, as well as how to correct for wind.

The interesting thing about flight training is watching the interaction between the instructors and the students. The flight surgeons are treated as peers by the instructors; they are well aware that we are not training to be pilots and already have assigned duties with each squadron, so they are able to relax and have fun with us in the aircraft. However, the student pilots have to finish the curriculum so that they may be "winged without reservation." The relationship between instructor and student pilot is very similar to the relationship between cardiothoracic surgeon and intern. There's bullying, pimping, judgment, evaluation... it is nerve wracking to watch. Each morning before a flight, the student pilot has to prepare approximately 10-20 pages of material regarding how the TH-57 works, whether the day's subject is hydraulic systems or flight rules. The instructor then pimps the student about the material that was prepared. Watching these students get grilled every morning gave me horrible horrible flashbacks of morning medicine rounds. The only difference? If I screwed up in the hospital, someone else would die. If these students screw up? They die. Dramatic, yes. But there's a reason why they say that each page of the NATOPS (aircraft instruction manual) is written in blood.

Back to the training: I'm a terrible helicopter pilot. I grip the cycle (think joystick) like I'm trying to squeeze the color out of it, the inputs I put in are too dramatic, and I get nervous when the helicopter tilts at an angle. Then again, the instructors continue to remind me that I'm just as good as any of the student pilots when they start out. The strange part is, although I know I'm not any good, there's still a little swagger in my step when I get out from a couple of hours of flying. That swagger is especially noticeable when walking to the hanger after a flight, carrying my helmet in one hand and peeling off my flight gloves with the other. If there was a big fire behind me, it would look like a scene out of Independence Day.

Here's a photo of Andrew (a fellow flight surgeon student) and myself preparing to go fly:


Andrew is also the cameraman behind the following videos, taken during my second daytime flight...here's my approach to the TH-57:


The goal, during this flight, is for me to learn how to hover. There's a box mown into the grass which is my guide; I have to stay within the box and five feet off the ground. If I'm successful, it will look like the helicopter isn't moving. You'll notice... success is the last thing I have:


Here's a moment that I actually pull off hovering for a short period:


And here's me at my worst:


Lastly, here are my final moments attempting to hover during my second flight:



Did you know that JD and Turk (from Scrubs) went to William & Mary? It's true! During one of JD's season six flashbacks, there are Tribe posters everywhere! Very exciting.

Did you know that Tim Matheson of Animal House fame directed the second episode of Bionic Woman? He also directed, among other shows, an episode of Burn Notice and The West Wing!

Monday, September 24, 2007

This must be... POP!

First of all... it has been less than a month since my last post. I think I deserve a medal.

Second... I am finally a graduate of API. Yes, that means I passed the helicopter dunker, the SWET chair, the altitude chamber, and everything else that made me soil my pants in anticipation. Granted, I came away with a sprained knee, but that's ok, I have two of them. Plus, a sprained knee gives me an excuse to stay on my couch, ice up my knee, and kick the crap out of Zelda villians until I "heal." Everyone's willing to cart my ass around, and beer plus painkillers is just so damn good.

I know what you're thinking... where are all the funny anecdotes? I promise, they're coming. Perhaps you're also asking, "What does Manish think about all the summer TV and the new fall premieres?" Let me tell you, please:

Burn Notice: I can't believe no one told me about this show... I had to find it on my own. Classic formula... good looking people solving crimes, a couple of funny gags, and late night cable. But this one has Gabrielle Anwar, of Scent of a Woman/For Love or Money fame. And she remains gorgeous while playing an Irish psychopath in love with the lead character. Bruce Campbell (another winner) does a great job in the cuddly, sidekick for comic relief role. Unfortunately, Jeffrey Donovan (of Vance Munson fame), is pretty awful. He does not convey emotion well, nor is his delivery funny. Still, it's a fun, brainless show, and I encourage viewing, if for no other reason than Anwar.

Heroes: I'm never objective about shows regarding superheroes (although I have somehow managed to not ever watch Smallville or The 4400), and I am not objective about Heroes. However, the season premiere was great. No real dropoff in drama, excellent set up of plotlines for the season, and the occasional dig at the whole "Save the Cheerleader" phenomenon. I'm excited. Also, the show is completely different in digital HD, not only for the picture, but the fun of being able to rewind and rewatch parts with subtle clues.

Chuck: How could I not love this show? NBC has hyped it well, and it is about a computer geek that gets to play spy games while rolling around with a hot blonde. NBC has done this for years... Seinfeld, Ross Geller, JD, Jim Halpert, Niles Crane... the nerds always get hot chicks. It truly gives us real nerds an occasional twinge of hope. As for the premiere... I liked it. I watched it alone, and I literally yelled out loud at the screen when the Zork reference was made. Zork. I wish I had played sports. A lot of obvious jokes, but the slapstick was good and I can give it some rope just because the plot requires a set up episode. I am concerned that the show is limited... the premise does not seem able to support a season's worth of shows. To be re-examined...

How I Met Your Mother: I have a bad feeling about this show. Season one? Very funny. Season two? Less funny, but still funny (especially with the Crazy Eyes and the Slap Bet). Season three? Not funny so far, and... CBS's premiere night was sponsored by Cadillac, and in the final scene of the episode, a Cadillac reference is made. Then, Mandy Moore plugs her new album at the end of the episode just because she had a bit part in it. It made me want to vomit. (And yes, I recognize that Heroes does the same thing with Nissan... but I've already stated, I'm not objective about superhero shows.)

I am not planning on watch Journeyman, since I cannot see how Scott Bakula can ever be replaced. I am also not planning on watching Bionic Woman unless someone I trust tells me that it's a good show. And I am definitely not going to watch The Big Bang Theory, because although I fully support nerds getting hot blondes, it has to be haphazard for me. If it's the premise of the show... it doesn't fool me.

I am excited about House, but concerned about the potential copout of bringing the three fellows back. I'm excited about The Office because Season 3 was the best season yet, and although the Jim/Pam thing might start to work out, I don't think the show will fizzle. Frasier died when Niles got Daphne, but that was due to the humor involved in Niles' secret crush. Office has never drawn on Jim/Pam for humor, which hopefully means the show will continue to be funny.

I wish I had more to say about the movie landscape... but I haven't seen any movies since Superbad. And reviewing Superbad now is a little late.

I would also like to reassure some of my readers out there... Yes, I am doctor. It is not necessarily true that "doctors are supposed to be sleepy and grumpy, and don't use phrases like 'silly hot.'" Seriously. I am a doctor.

Also, a note from Emilie, who was congratulated in a previous blog post:
"I was honored to see I was featured in your blog!:) With funny narrative comments and everything! Did you know I still have the bodies (and/or brains) of all 12,000 butterflies I reared (and then "sacrificed")? Some people find that disturbing, and yet a little amusing:)"

She's not kidding, folks.

On not kidding... my first flight in a helicopter is next Wednesday, should my knee heal up well enough and the weather remain calm. I get five total helicopter flights; three normal day training flights, one night flight, and one tactical flight. I also get three simulator flights, which should also be fun. If you're curious about when exactly I'll be up in the air (so that you can take cover), just google "HT-18," click on the first link, and find the schedule for the HT-18 squadron flights.

Thursday, August 30, 2007

I've been looking so long at these pictures of me...

...that I almost believe that they're real.

(I also considered "Would you take my picture...", but I didn't think that song had as much universal appeal.)

Yesterday, I finally graduated from swim survival after completing the last event, swimming a mile in a flight suit. Thirty-six laps, 62 minutes. As I intimated before, the swimming class here is designed to help us survive an aircraft crash into the water. What I learned while I was here? Apparently, most people can swim. Or, most people in the Navy can swim (I know you're shocked). Also, the doggie-paddle does not count as swimming.

These were the water survival events:

WS-1/2: Leap off a 12 foot tower, feet first, swim 100 yards (25 of the breaststroke, 25 of the backstroke, 25 of the sidestroke, and 25 of the crawl), then 5 minutes of the dead man's float. All without touching the side or the bottom of the pool.
WS-3: Tread water for two minutes in a bathing suit, followed by 3 minutes of the dead man's float.
WS-4: Tread water for two minutes in a bathing suit, followed by 3 minutes of the dead man's float. Twist? Add steel tipped boots (a few pounds a piece).
WS-5: Tread water for two minutes in a bathing suit, followed by 3 minutes of the dead man's float. Twist? Add steel tipped boots (a few pounds a piece). Twist #2? Add a 15 lb vest, and gloves.
WS-6: Tread water for two minutes in a bathing suit, followed by 3 minutes of the dead man's float. Twist? Add steel tipped boots (a few pounds a piece). Twist #2? Add a 15 lb vest, and gloves. Twist #3? Add a helmet.
WS-7: Jump feet first from a 12 foot tower, and swim 15 yards underwater before resurfacing.
WS-8: Swim 200 yards (50 yards a piece of the aforementioned strokes) without stopping. Then gear up with suit, vest, gloves, boots, and helmet, and swim 75 yards with all the strokes except the crawl.
WS-9: Swim one mile (36 laps of the pool) without touching the sides or bottom of the pool. 80 minute time limit.

Perhaps, you are not terrified by the above propositions. I was. The vest appears light when out of the water, but the second it gets wet, it essentially feels like an anchor around your neck, pulling you to the nether regions of the pool (and I've been told that there are sharks down there). The boots are heavy, they're not the right size, and most importantly, you can't feel the flow of water across your feet, so there's no positive reinforcement of your swimming kicks (except not drowning). The gloves and the flight suit significantly increase drag.

However, I finally passed! Now if I can only post some pictures (thanks to Josh and Christian for the photos/video)...

Me and Christian in wet flights suits after a dip in the pool:



You can see that I'm not happy in the water. This is me, mid-backstroke, sinking in the water while attempting to give the finger to the photographer.



Full gear (helmet, flight suit, gloves, vest, boots) staying afloat while my pulse climbs to about 3000 beats a minute. Video follows... even now, when I watch it, I feel like I'm dying a little.





These are photos from the tower jump with boots on. First, I'm steeling myself up for the jump (by the by, standing like Superman surprisingly does not make me feel like Superman). Then, a picture actually happens to catch me mid-air, and if you notice, I'm about 2 seconds from a complete faceplant in the water. Believe me, it was not pleasant. Note: what takes me so long in the video is that the instructor is trying to pump me up into trying the jump. It took a lot of pumping.






Also to be noted: That was my first jump. Of fifteen. I did not make it even close to 15 yards on my first jump. Jump #9 got me to the 8 yard mark. Reportedly, Jump #10 found me completely parallel to the surface of the water (which I felt as the wind got knocked out of me).

A final word: As terrifying as this class has been, I'm a much better swimmer for it. Also, the instructors and staff down here in Pensacola are phenomenal, and certainly inspire a feeling of safety. Which is hard when you have panicking Indian guy in the water screaming for his Mommy.

Monday, August 27, 2007

My sorrows, they learned to swim

...so why can't I?

Another long pause in blogging, I know... and the excuses I could come up are thin. You'll forgive me, I'm sure.

First... congratulations:

Emilie, the Genghis Khan of Butterflies, has successfully defended her PhD thesis, and merely awaits the paperwork in November to certify her as a fake doctor. This from the same girl that told me that she could keep a butterfly in an envelope for three days in a refrigerator and it would still survive. And, while you'd think working for four years on the most efficient ways to kill butterflies individually would take her to a more glorious end point... she's moving on to Indiana to STUDY DUNG BEETLES. Included in this project is an annual trip to replenish the dung stores. Sounds like a terrifying harvest dance.

Jessica has begun the journey towards her jurisdoctorate. Just think... in a mere three years, she'll be slowly dying as she awaits her Bar Exam results.

Jeff and Ryan will be defending their own PhD theses in October and next summer, respectively.

Allison Strick (now Allison Siller) pulled off a gorgeous wedding in Charlottesville, VA. That's my third Charlottesville wedding... it would appear to be a wonderful city to have a wedding.

Updates:

I have arrived in Florida, and I'm pretty sure it's part of a different country. It's always hot (it was 88 degrees F two days ago... at 10 PM), it's always humid, it's in a different time zone, and the insects are bigger and I'm sure more poisonous. The nearest grocery store to me is... a Walmart.

On the other hand... I only have to use a third of my wardrobe (I have worn jeans since arriving here), I live on a golf course, and I live about two miles from a beach. The bars serve cheap beer and food, the seafood is delicious, and I live close to NAS Pensacola, where I spend all my non-home time. It's odd to live in a city that has a large population that comes here primarily for weekends in a resort. The beach is lined with tall buildings that look like hotels, but are really condos for sale and for rent to those willing to pay lots of money to stay on the beach. Half of the beachfront architecture was decimated by Hurricane Ivan... The most popular bar on the Gulf Coast, Flora-Bama, was reduced in size by half. Hurricanes be scary.

Flight Training:

I'm two weeks into Airflight Preflight Indoctrination, aka API. This is a six week course for all Naval/Marine Aviators/Flight Officers designed to provide an academic background in aviation before 22 year olds are put in charge of taking care of $40 million aircraft. Flight surgeons are also required to take the course for a number of reasons, including increasing our credibility with our patients. Apparently, pilots are more likely to trust doctors who have been through the same trials they have.

The course can be broken up into three parts: the lectures, which revolve around aerodynamics, weather, engines, navigation, rules/regulations, etc; swim survival (more on this in a bit); and general survival techniques (helicopter rescue, parasailing, low pressure chamber exposure, spin-and-pukes). Because many of the students in API are right out of college, the each lecture in the first week was preceded by a diatribe on studying hard... OR ELSE. More "you're gonna fail" scare tactics were used than when I was in medical school. And we all know how that ended.

When the swim class is finished, I'll post with my own difficulties, hilarities, and (best of all) pictures and videos detailing "Manish goes to the pool!"

Also coming: funnies from class, funnies from friends, and perhaps some pop culture commentary.